Is it really February?

My loving, wonderful and kind husband just whisked both of our boys away to Lowes to give me a little time by myself before he works all weekend.  I know I don't deserve him!  His instruction?  "Don't do anything productive."  Will I get in trouble for this?  The blog posts piling up drives me crazy but with everything else sometimes I barely give it a thought.  I know we will appreciate it later so I will forge on!

Before I start into my October post (I know, sad isn't it?), I thought I'd give you a brief look into our life today.

Josh started rolling over from tummy to back on January 20th.  He has done it several times but I haven't seen him do it again recently!  I tried to get it on camera but wasn't able to.  I think the few times he has done it, he has surprised himself! :)  Nathan and Josh are interacting more and it is so cute watching Josh laugh at Nathan.  And of course, Nathan loves to have the audience.

Nathan's cast came off 2 weeks ago and we were thrilled about that!  The doctor couldn't be happier about his healing.  That same week Josh got RSV Bronchiolitis which is kind of like a really bad cold that can be worrisome in infants.  It seemed he got it from Nathan but at Nathan's age, it is not of significant concern.  So after about a week Josh was a ton better.  We were grateful that it didn't hit him hard.  At the end of this week Matt and I decided we were kind of at the end of our rope with Josh's sleeping habits.  Since he had colic we had done whatever we could to make him comfortable during his time of being upset at night until we could get him to sleep....mostly bouncing and swaying.  If he ever fell asleep before 10pm, it usually would be for only 45 minutes and then he would be up for hours after that.  Most night we were up with him at least until midnight.  Matt helped a lot before he got to sleep and then I was up with him in the middle of the night every 2-3 hours and every 3-4 hours on a good night.  Last week, at the end of his fighting sickness, we had a really tough night where we started trying to get him down at 9pm and were still at it at 2am.  I even called the on call nurse at the doctor's office.  I needed to know if something was wrong, if this was still colic or if we were at the point we could try to sleep train him.  This particular nurse thought he was still colicky...or over tired but this point.
 
Then that Friday I talked to his pediatrician and he suggested a method to get him to sleep through the night.  After about 5 nights we had our best night yet of 10 hours of sleep only interrupted once at 2am with a diaper change and then back to sleep!  We were elated as you can imagine.  Although it was not easy getting to that point as a mother who wants to comfort her crying baby.  Anyway, since then we have been experimenting with different day time schedules, researching baby sleep habits and cycles and different people's opinions and ideas about scheduling, crying it out, psychological effects, blah, blah, blah.  Yes, I'm tired.  I'm tired of trying to figure it all out and last night he woke in the middle of the night needing a full feeding after all of the progress we had made.  As any mom, I want to do what is the very best for my child and I also want my sanity.  This is a delicate balance and I know that what is right for Joshua is not right for every other child.  That is probably the problem with formulas...the one size fits all mentality.  Not to mention, I think needs are different just because we have two children and not one.  Even if Josh and Nathan were exactly the same, I think we would have to do things differently this time around.  I have more of a desire for a schedule and predictability while at the same time, I am not a scheduled person and it drives me crazy to watch the clock all day and feel like I failed when things are not working out as they are supposed to.

I also know that as I encounter different things as my children grow...potty training, spanking, breastfeeding, other discipline, how to affirm them, etc, I need to be seeking God.  I am reading a book that implores me not to read all of the parenting books and to seek God's word.  I read it and feel alive by this new found knowledge!  Forget everyone's opinions! Do what God is telling you.  And also, be who God created you to be...work to your strengths.  Such freedom in this.  I can embrace the fact that I am not schedule oriented and I don't enjoy cooking!  I can give my kids love and a full life without feeling guilty about areas of weaknesses?  How wonderful!  Forget the schedule.  Pray for guidance.  Sounds heavenly.

Then the next day comes and I abandon the schedule and I have an overtired baby that cries every time I lay him down for a nap...and it seems even worse than the day before when although I tried to adhere to the schedule, I still failed miserably as I couldn't get him to follow it.  Then I doubt.  Does God really care whether I put him on a schedule or not?  So back to the expert and not-so-expert opinions on baby sleep habits.  Except doing this takes away precious time with my spunky, two year old whose great days make for Josh's bad days.  And Josh's great days make for Nathan's bad days.   As I abandoned the schedule today I took Nathan out to Target while Josh fell asleep in the cart after a failed 2 hour nap earlier in the morning that was only 45 minutes.  Nathan was alive and happy today and good!  Less whining for sure.  And Josh totally suffered for it.  To keep Josh on a schedule means wake times of an hour and a half...maybe 2 hours.  However, if I wait the full 2 hours he ends up falling asleep at the gym and ruining his nap at home.  So, we end up being homebound.  Yikes.

So this is where we are at! I know worse case scenario a few months down the road will be easier because Josh will be older and be able to last longer awake.  But I do feel there is a better answer for now I just need wisdom in discovering what works best for everyone.  And it might not be anyone else's answer.  So if you could just pray for us to figure this out and not waste precious time looking up and reading things so we can enjoy these moments with our young kiddos lives!

AND Matt is home! So the October post will have to wait until later...